i'm debating which of two lines of thought to rant or ramble about...they are both related to our ongoing search for housing in the little white city and both are elements that we have encountered before. perhaps if i bring them out in something resembling a logical fashion (if i can manage to hold the thoughts together through all of my multi-tasking distractions) it will sound less like a rant and more like a protest.

the first is the world at large's dislike of couples. well, let me be more specific: (young and poor) married couples. don't believe me? just try to find a privately rented apartment or a room in a group house that will take you both. when we were looking for a place to live while in grad school last year "sorry no couples" came up in more listings and responses than i care to remember. i guess we expected something different this time around because we're back in the States. but even here a number of places replied to our inquiries saying they didn't want to take couples. those who were willing to take a couple wanted to increase the rent (one by$300!! there is no way even i could take long enough washing my hair to justify that). now i can understand wanting to cover extra utilities expenses or avoid overcrowding or unwanted drama; people like to have personal space and want peace when they come home. but if we weren't married and i just had my boyfriend show up one day with his few things for an indefinite stay or i were to gradually install myself at his place, chances are nothing would be said. there wouldn't be an increase in our share of the rent or utilities. if it were a group house, it might cross someone's mind that the situation is unfair to rest of the people living there, but nothing would be said. that would be rude and pass some sort of judgment on us and we can't have that. but if you want to do things legitimately (and morally) it's nigh impossible to find something reasonably priced.

the other element (factor? issue?) is one of space, or perhaps stuff. westerners have too much of everything - space, stuff, unnecessary things. they have great big houses in which to put all of their many many things. they are sold gizmos on tv to help organized their stuff so they can acquire more of it. and then they rent a unit at the nearby personal storage complex to keep all of the stuff that doesn't fit in their great big house in spite of all of their organizing and space-reducing gizmos. and this is what led to our current economic crisis - greed and envy. lots and lots of people wanting bigger houses and bigger and more expensive things. put everything on the charge card and paying the minimum balance is all that's required. let's everyone live way beyond our means and spend far more than we make! yippee!
thus people expect everyone to have lots of stuff and to want to acquire even more stuff. and if there are two of you that means double the amount of stuff. last year we were turned away several times because "the space isn't big enough for two people". now the room we lived in all last year was no more than 180sq feet, probably less; everything we owned while overseas fit into four suitcases and a couple of backpacks. even after picking everything we had in storage in various places around the country, it will all fit into the bed of a small pick-up truck. so i guess the root of my problem here is the assumption that everyone has lots of stuff and thus a moderately sized space is not big enough for two people.